Occult Counseling
Jeffry Yoo-Hess
Tapas Winner


The witchy types really get me hot. In spite of the August heat she is wearing a long black dress with a nice low neckline. After reading her resume I thought she would be a great asset to the agency.

I ask her, “What is your basic approach to working with at-risk children?”

She replies, “It’s a form of magic for me. You can be gifted with empathy, but to make a real difference you need to shape it into a circle of protection. I don’t like pushing too hard because a lust for results causes interventions to backfire. I make sigils for the kids on my caseload. I charge them with partial suffocation. I call it null breathing. I stop breathing and blank my mind. When I have to breathe I inhale for three seconds, hold it for three seconds, and then exhale for three seconds. It represents the three natures of the goddess Hecate. If a kid is having a lot of trouble I put a few drops of High John Oil and Controlling Oil on their sigil for an extra boost. In the end, it’s really about discerning where the child is at and trying to tap the key that turns their behavior around. Reading auras is more important than reading files.”

I shake her hand, thank her for coming in, and tell her I’ll be in touch. I already know I won’t hire her. This is a strictly Christian organization.


First published: August 2018
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