Unlikely Possibilities
John Laneri
Today's meeting of Betty's Local Council represented another exercise in frustration. The government in my opinion had gone beyond the point of ridiculous. We needed a viable space craft before debating who would leave Planet Betty first.

In an effort to clear my head, I took the long way home by detouring toward the crater region. Near the South rim, and much to my surprise, I immediately spotted my first ever flying saucer.

It was partially hidden behind a rocky outcrop and appeared to measure only about thirty feet in diameter, which seemed too small unless it was alien or the government did have that rumored technology capable of shrinking everyone.

On looking closer, the thing was elliptical rather than circular – a configuration that suggested the government had either miscalculated the dimensions or the saucer experts were wrong. Either way, the project would likely be considered politically incorrect.

I failed to see a propulsion system, so I reached for my binoculars. After several minutes of searching, I was still unable to visualize any means of power – again, something probably not thought through by government.

I also noticed something else, and I am not joking. The saucer was resting on two landing struts that were splayed at the bottom and looked exactly like chicken feet.

Once I spotted the feet, I concluded that the saucer was indeed a secret government project not only because chickens were our most vital natural resource but because the government was often prone to act without reason.

At that point, nothing made sense, until I reconsidered the chicken feet.

Thinking back, I remembered that chicken feet twitch back and forth when an electrical current is applied to the skin, so movement of the feet could theoretically provide propulsion.

I also knew that chickens continue to run in circles after the head is excised – a capability that allows them to function without power during adverse conditions.

A viable computer, however, was still needed to control the direction of movement.

Chuckling to myself, I remembered an earlier government attempt to use chicken heads to replace the processors of our aged computers. The project failed, but technologies do evolve.

On the other hand, if the government was actually able to use a chicken head for a computer, then they might be able to maintain a captain's log as well as input data into a spacecraft – unlikely possibilities, none-the-less possibilities.
 
After arriving home, I reviewed my findings.

Soon however, concern began to replace my earlier frustration when I started to wonder if the government actually did believe it could use a chicken to power a flying saucer to another world.


 


First published: February, 2014
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