Alice Whittenburg
Tapas Winner
One day my neighbor’s son Joey said, “Times are tough, but did you know there are still ways to get rich?”

I said, “Yeah, every week I pray to St. Theresa to help me pick good Lotto numbers.”

I thought he’d laugh at that idea, but he said, “You need the right saint for the job. Try St. Cajetan, patron of gamblers. And use PrayStation™.”

When I asked what that was, he opened his garden shed and showed me a computer in a plastic-flower shrine. “$10 gets you one PrayStation™ cycle — your prayer to St. Cajetan goes out hourly for one week.” When I heard the robot voice reciting Joey’s prayer to St. Omobono, patron of businessmen, I figured what the heck and handed over a ten.

The next week I told Joey, “I missed every number in the Pick-Six. Maybe it’s sacrilegious to mix God and computers.”

He said, “If PrayStation™ prayed to God, maybe — but it prays to saints. Plus, it’s my machine, so your lily-white soul is safe. Now’s the time to subscribe — I’ve upgraded to PrayStation™ 2 and added five more laptops. After Brenda Foster subscribed, she won the big raffle prize.”

He went to Bingo with me and got Lucy and Patty subscribed to PrayStation™ too. But since then, though I’ve even entered Publisher’s Clearinghouse, the only thing I won was a lousy Bingo card.  I don’t think Cajetan is going to make me rich, but Omobono just might come through for Joey.

First published: November, 2013
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