Remember that old Flip Wilson Show? Of course you don't. Time has flat flown by and I find I am alone with so many memories. Makes me a little bitter, you know? Like I do not get the current culture. People talk about private stuff on TV, wear their pants with the crotch on the ground, and make commercials I just don't get. I mean, I stare at the television set and say, "WTF?"
Back to my story. Flip Wilson had this character named Geraldine who always copped out saying, "The devil made me do it." I really liked that. Laughed myself silly. Thing is, Geraldine was right. There can be these influences, you know? Voices in your head. I started having dreams a few months back. Crazy looking Greek guy giving me messages. Said his name was Apollo. He was buck naked most of the time, wore a sheet thing once in a while. He played music to wake me and once I swear he slammed me in the head with a lyre.
After a few visits, Apollo started reaching for my hand and we flew off in the night like Ebineezer Scrooge and those ghosts. When we landed we were in something like an amphitheatre and it wasn't old and broken but kind of new and solid. People bowed to Apollo and then, oddly, to me. Good to have friends in high places, it seems.
Clearly he is an object of veneration. Women fall at his feet. The seats in the amphitheatre are usually full or filling up when we arrive. Apollo is a speaker at these events but there are others who speak as well. He tells people what is going to happen in the future. Not so much of a trick, I think, since he travels back and forth at will.
One time in Delphi, a man took to the stage and Apollo bowed. It was Zeus, his father, he said, a man to honor as a god and hero. Traveling back and forth, Apollo shared things he knew. Like my boss was never going to really give me the raise and promotion he had promised for more than two years. And the mayor of my town? Pilfering funds and sleeping with other men's wives.
I began to do Apollo's bidding, taking quiet revenge on all the cheaters and the liars he pointed out to me. Sometimes I knew Apollo's stories weren't really true. Like Ebineezer's bit of bad gravy, Apollo sometimes was just in a bad mood. I honestly didn't care. I liked the feeling of power.
Coincidentally, I learned to play the lyre.
First published: November 2011
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