The curtain opens on a rather stout man dancing with a stuffed goose while humming "Clementine." His reverie is interrupted by a knock on the door stage right.

WALLERBECK All right, all right, keep your pants on your horse. (He opens the door and in walks Death, a short, balding man wearing a plaid shirt.)
Oh, it's you. Go away. (He starts to close the door but Death holds it open.)

DEATH Not so fast, Wallerbeck. We've got some business to take care of.

WALLERBECK You mean?

DEATH Yes. The goose.

WALLERBECK But I'm not ready. I haven't a thing to wear.

DEATH Don't worry about your clothes, Wallerbeck. We'll take care of you from now on.

WALLERBECK No. This isn't right. I just wanted my goose back ...

DEATH You got your goose.

WALLERBECK No, I wanted it alive, not ... stuffed.

DEATH Hey, what do you want? I'm Death. I can't do everything. This isn't God you're dealing with here.

WALLERBECK What if I refuse? I didn't sign anything. I checked with my lawyer and he said ...

DEATH Enough! We had an agreement, Wallerbeck, a bargain, a pact. You're a man of your word, aren't you?

WALLERBECK Actually, no. I've been a congenital liar ever since my fourth birthday when I swore to everybody I was two. I couldn't stand the thought of getting older.

DEATH Enough games, Wallerbeck, I'm a busy man. Are you coming quietly or do I have to get rough? (There's a knock at the door.)

WALLERBECK Excuse me. He crosses and opens the door. (Jean, a woman in a trench coat, throws herself in his arms.) Jean! (She kisses him passionately, then sees Death there and composes herself.)

JEAN Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.

DEATH That's OK, we were just leaving.

JEAN We? Harvey, where are you going?

WALLERBECK Uh, honey, I'd like you to meet Death. Death, Jean.

DEATH Pleased to meet you.

JEAN Likewise, I'm sure ... What am I saying? Harvey, what is Death doing in your apartment?

WALLERBECK It's a long story, honey, I'll tell you some other time.

DEATH There won't be another time, Wallerbeck. Shouldn't we be on our way? (Death grabs one of Wallerbeck's arms and begins dragging him toward the door.)

WALLERBECK Goodbye, honey. I'll write. (Death drags him out the door. Jean stands there for a moment, then yells after him.)

JEAN Harvey! Is this your way of getting out of going to my mother's Friday night? Because if it is, you've got another think coming, mister, let me tell you ... (Her words fade as the curtain falls.)