Wrestling With Reason
Greg Bauder

The Russian wrestler downed his Scotch opponent with a double-drop kick. The bearded Scot, who had been barred for drunkenedness on a Glasgow street, and had therefore lost his triple crown, was glassy-eyed on the mat. The Russian yelled at the unmistakeable Tulsa, Oklahoma wrestling crowd which was tipsy and tended to smash down drinks. He picked up the Scot, spinning him high in the air, and threw him up at a whining, drunk Irish fan in the fifth row who was belted in the face with the Scot's bent elbow.

There was a chorus of boos as the Russian grinned wryly and passed between the ropes and out of the ring escorted by the referee. But, the Irishman from Cork, who had been plastered by the heaved Scot, wiped his bloody nose and jumped down from his seat and mugged the 340 pounder Russian who was being whisked away.

The Irishman, who was also a wrestler, hoisted the Russian and began pile-driving the Russian's head against his knee until he was knocked out. The Irishman rounded out his victory to the cheering crowd by raising a microphone and expressed publicly: "We wrestle with spirit here because drinking and driving only mixes well in the ring. I hope you all have sober drivers to take you home."

First published: August 2005
comments to the writer: Knob'sWriter@iceflow.com