A Quiet Breakfast
D. Harlan Wilson

A child gave birth to two bouncing parents. The father came out wearing a suit and tie. The mother came out wearing an apron.

The child closed its legs and said, “Go to your room.” Bowing their heads, the parents shuffled away .

The doorbell rang. “We just heard the news!” hollered the neighbors from the front porch. “Let us in!”

The child opened the door and ushered the neighbors into the bedroom. The father was cooking a Play-Dough omelet on a Fisher Price oven with his tie thrown over his shoulder. The mother was sitting in a chair with her ankle placed on her knee reading a newspaper.

The neighbors screamed. The mother peeked over the top of the newspaper, blinked, and gave birth to a pet. It slid out from underneath her apron onto the floor. The neighbors screamed again. On their way home, they exchanged heated gossip with friends on their cell phones.

The child ordered his mother to take a time out. She resisted. He draped her over his lap and spanked her. The father dropped his spatula and barked defiantly. The pet picked up the spatula, rose on its hind legs and finished what the father had started.

Later that night, after the parents had been sent to an orphanage and the pet had leapt out a window and ran away, the child ate a quiet breakfast.



First published: February 2005
comments to the writer: Knob'sWriter@iceflow.com