D. Harlan Wilson

A gardener runs out of eggplant seeds to plant in his garden. Since he's not tired yet, he decides to plant his relatives. They allow him to bag and drag them out of their homes without too much of a struggle.

But once they arrive at the gardener's garden--that's a different story.

Grandpa Malcolm wants to be planted between the cucumbers and the green beans, the only two vegetables he can stand to eat, even though there's no room. Cousin Delilah want to be planted in a bed of coffee grounds instead of manure (the smell makes her dry heave uncontrollably). Uncle Phil and Auntie Sue want to be buried with a magnolia seed so that when they grow out of the ground they will be half man and wife, half flower and rabbit-deterrent . . .

Trying to negotiate the temperments of his relatives tires out the gardener before he has a chance to put them in the ground. Bagging and dragging his relatives back to their homes, and then returning to his garden and putting himself in the ground, tires him out enough to call it a day.

First published: February, 2002