Post-Pedicure Philosophy
A. Pinar Saygin
Flash Fiction
Winning Story

S he'd heard that witches could do magic with toenail clippings. She often wondered whether this was true or not because if it were, she'd be ruling the world. Manicure and pedicure! 9 to 5, Monday to Saturday.
She'd often find herself dozing off over the cuticles of some woman, pinch herself and say 'We are experiencing slow time again'.
At other times she would dream, mostly of the stage.
Nobody really aspires to become a manicurist. It had happened to her while she was busy trying to become an actress.
Her acting debut was in the 90's when she'd got the lead in the high school's production of a Neil Simon comedy. The male lead was a guy named John Crawford. Pretty talented, he was, and funny too.
One day, while they were backstage during rehearsal, he'd told her a story. There must have been a beginning to it but she couldn't remember. All that she could distinctly recall was John impersonating a man talking to his boss: "In ten, maybe fifteen years, I'll be eating my ass! F**k me, I quit!"
It was such an odd sentence, and the way he'd said it--the funny lisp, the weird intonation--was hilarious.
It had been ten, maybe fifteen years; funny how she could still remember.

First published: May 1998